Relevance

I originally came up with my novel's premise with a simple, original idea: what if the human race chose to stop reproducing? Theoretically we could do that. I was horrified by the idea. I imagined the whole world agreeing on a set day to stop reproducing, and from that day on no more babies would be born. The human race would age like normal, and eventually, the last human would die.


I came across this article today titled "Should We Be Having Kids In The Age Of Climate Change?": http://www.npr.org/2016/08/18/479349760/should-we-be-having-kids-in-the-age-of-climate-change


It gave me the chills and reminded me of my beloved manuscript. Below is my most current query.

THE CALLING OF ONE is adult Post-Apocalyptic in three parts, complete at 87,000 words, that follows Mikenna’s life from childhood to adult. It has a light sci-fi hook with a literary bent similar to STATION ELEVEN.

In 2033, seven-year-old Mikenna Lawson wakes up every morning wishing she wasn’t the last human ever born. Since The Decision—humanity’s willing choice to stop reproducing for Earth’s rejuvenation—quality of life is high and babies are a thing of the past. Selflessness, acceptance, and planning for a smooth ending are the wisdoms of the Post-Decision age. 

Mikenna disagrees. When she hears the president talk about there not being anymore babies, she imagines herself as the second Eve—until her ninth birthday party. There she learns she was sterilized as a baby for her illegal birth during The Decision. Her hopes come crashing down. In her teenage years she researches images of babies to see if they look like the ones in her dreams. She contemplates suicide so someone else can be the last human. And as a young woman, the desire to be a mother grows, but she abstains from physical intimacy with her husband because of its emotional connection to her sterilization. 

In 2071, as the human race dwindles, and Mikenna begins to accept The Decision, she discovers she was never sterilized. The doctor who delivered Mikenna saved her from the punishment. With motherhood, and the Eve dream, a sudden possibility, Mikenna must decide if fulfilling her own desire is worth subjecting a child to the emptying world.

Of Course . . .

Of course what I said in my last post is coming true - my query is changing again. Actually, the format of my MS has changed, which changes the query, and I think I'm in love. We shall see!

It's all still there, but in a different order. The new opening starts where my old Part II began. The new opening starts with a six-year-old Mikenna. And what I've done is weave the chapters of Part I (The night of her birth) into the story later on.

I've always thought about this, but I didn't know how to do it. I owe most of the inspiration to Emily St. John Mandel's Station Eleven. Also, to the judge's feedback from QK (Yes. Of course I still go back and read the feedback). I never thought of Part I as a prologue. I had a prologue. It got cut a long time ago. I always felt my old Part I was where the story started - the night of Mikenna's birth. But the great thing about the new format is that I don't have to lose that. The story starts right off with the MC, and the reader gets perfectly placed snippets from the night of her birth. I think the revealing scenes add to the tension and overall flow. Remember, I said, "I think."

So the heart of the story has not changed. The Calling Of One is still about Mikenna's belief that she is the last human ever born, maybe the last human ever. At the risk of having to "update" this again, I'm posting it anyway! Whatever, right? Maybe this will be good for beginners, should they happen to stumble upon my blog, to see the evolution. Also, it shows I'm not afraid of a little R&R (That's rest and relaxation, right?)

Query:

In 2032, six-year-old Mikenna Lawson wakes up every morning wishing she wasn’t the last human ever born. Since The Decision—humanity’s willing choice to not reproduce for ten years for Earth’s rejuvenation—quality of life is high, and babies are a thing of the past. The ten-year decision becomes a permanent decision. Selflessness, acceptance, and planning for a smooth ending are the wisdoms of the Post-Decision age. 

Mikenna disagrees. When she hears the president talk about there not being anymore babies, she imagines herself as the second Eve—until her eighth birthday party. There she learns she was sterilized as a baby for her illegal birth during The Decision. Her hopes come crashing down. As a teenager, she researches images of babies to see if they look like the ones in her dreams. She contemplates suicide so someone else can be the last human. And as a young woman, she abstains from physical intimacy with her husband because of its emotional connection to her sterilization. 

Then, as the human race dwindles, and Mikenna begins to accept The Decision, she discovers she was never sterilized. The doctor who delivered Mikenna saved her from the punishment. With the Eve dream a sudden possibility, Mikenna must decide if fulfilling her own desire is worth subjecting a child to the emptying world. 

THE CALLING OF ONE is adult Post-Apocalyptic in three parts, complete at 88,000 words, that follows Mikenna’s life from childhood to death. Scenes from her birth are weaved throughout the narrative. It has a light sci-fi hook with a literary bent similar to Station Eleven. Thank you for your time and consideration.

 

 

 

First Page:

 

PART 1 

CHAPTER 1 

2032, Six years after Mikenna’s birth

Two years after The Decision

7.05 billion people 

Mikenna giggled at a joke on the TV, but the time on the cable box, 11:24, chased her smile and easy feeling away. She rubbed her stuffed puppy dog against her cheek, sighed, and turned her ear toward the ceiling. Worry took the place of the TV show as she listened for movement, for some sign of life. She hugged her legs close to her body and sank further into the giant couch cushions, trying to ignore the time.

After a few minutes, she huffed, got up, and started for the stairs. The dump truck pattern on her pajamas swayed back and forth as she bounced up the steps. Outside, the August sun beat down on the house, but the cracked door to her mother’s room revealed night-time darkness, intensified by heavy curtains. First Mikenna peeked and then let herself in.

“Mommy? Are you awake?”

Her mother stirred in the bed, twisting in the sheet and clutching her pillow. “Hi, baby.”

“Hi, mommy!” Mikenna rushed over for a hug. “And a big kiss.” She turned her cheek. “It’s almost eleven-thirty. Uncle Mike said, ‘Don’t let her stay up there past eleven-thirty.’ ”

Her mother kissed her cheek and then took a deep breath, swung her legs over the edge of the bed, and sat there.

Mikenna waited, swaying back and forth, hoping her mother wouldn’t lie back down. It was Mikenna’s duty to stir the air and bring light into the room every morning. And it was her challenge to bring a smile to her mother’s face.

        

 

July 2015 Critique Blog Hop

This query is a result of the contest, Query Kombat. Thank you to Michelle Hauck, SC Author, and Michael Anthony for hosting, and all the judges for their invaluable feedback. My entry was one of the 64 chosen by SC Author. Go Team Writer Bees! I was Baby Blues Ruse.

I made it into the contest, but got knocked out in the first round. For this, I am not sad. Gaining entry into the contest was beyond amazing--it was a victory. The feedback, and the new writing friends I made, is priceless. Those new friends provided feedback that helped reshape my query and ultimately the entire MS. The feedback did not come easily, though.

I had to step away from the feedback that came from the contest, come back a little later, and read with fresh eyes. I had to ask for the feedback from my fellow participants. That took a little stepping out of my comfort zone. No one was contacting me, saying, "Hey, can I give you feedback." I had to ask. I kept telling myself, "I've made it into this contest, and I'm not going to squander the opportunity!"

So this is the most recent version. I'm sure it's not perfect, but I love it. But I loved the other version, too. Just goes to show, I might need to update this someday! If you're interested in a before and after check this out: before.

Query:

In the year 2026, Anna races to deliver her baby before government agents can intercept her. Births during The Decision—humanity’s willing choice to not reproduce for ten years for Earth’s rejuvenation—result in sterilization, or worse, death. Anna’s baby is born as agents break down the door, yet Mikenna’s life is spared. Six years later, people are free to reproduce, but they don’t. The quality of life is high, and babies are a thing of the past. Selflessness, acceptance, and planning for a smooth ending are the wisdoms of the Post-Decision age. 

Mikenna disagrees. When she hears the president talk about there not being anymore babies, she imagines herself as the second Eve—until her eighth birthday party. There, Aunt Rebekah tells Mikenna she was sterilized at birth. From then on, Mikenna wakes up every morning wishing she wasn’t the last human ever born. As a teenager, Mikenna researches images of babies to see if they look like the ones in her dreams. She contemplates suicide so someone else can be the last. And as a young woman, Mikenna abstains from physical intimacy with her husband because of its emotional connection to her sterilization. 

Then, as the human race dwindles, and Mikenna begins to accept The Decision, she discovers Aunt Rebekah lied. The doctor who delivered Mikenna saved her from sterilization and death. With the Eve dream a sudden possibility, Mikenna must decide if fulfilling her own desire is worth subjecting a child to the emptying world.

 

THE CALLING OF ONE is adult Apocalyptic, complete at 88,000 words, that follows Mikenna’s life from birth to death in four parts.

First Page:

PART 1 

CHAPTER 1 

2026, Seven years into The Decision

7.52 billion people

 

Each leaden footstep Anna took through her unlit home brought her closer to the garage, closer to victory. At the end of the hallway she measured the distance to her next supporting wall and shuffled on. But a growing ache halted her at the dining room table. In desperation, she grasped the closest chair, breathing quick, rapid breaths. Her back shuddered, as if the Earth had just shifted across her spine, and it threatened to bring her body down in a crumbling mess. Her contracting muscles pulsed, hastening her baby toward an undeserved life.

 

“Oh, my precious little girl,” Anna whispered. “I’m sorry I got you into this. I’m sorry, Mikenna, but one day you’ll know . . . my heart was selfless.”

 

At the point of collapse, Anna gritted her teeth, and with a huff of determination, heaved herself up. She pushed off and continued on with trembling knees through her hiding place, her cage. Five steps more, and Anna turned toward the living room. Her husband stood to the side of the window, concealing himself in the darkness, holding the curtain back slightly with his pointer finger. A shaft of light from the afternoon sun snuck past and landed on the carpet, exposing a flurry of dust in the air.

 

“I’m ready,” Anna beckoned. “David . . . please?” She waited, her labored breathing filling the silence. She swayed on her toes. “I said I’m ready.”

 

David kept his eyes to the window, searching. “Where are They?” His voice trembled. “I know They know.”

 

Unable to wait any longer, Anna turned and continued to the car by herself. “They can’t know. Please, God, They can’t.”

The Voice 2015

Title: The Calling Of One

Genre: Adult Upmarket Apocalyptic

Word Count: 88K

 

Query: 

Mikenna Lawson wakes up every morning wishing she wasn’t the last human ever born. When the human race makes the permanent decision to stop reproducing, Mikenna imagines herself as the second Eve, and repopulating the Earth.  

But Mikenna doesn’t know she was born during a time when reproduction was illegal; that her mother, Anna, had risked both their lives for a chance at life. So when she learns from her Aunt Rebekah that she was sterilized at birth, her hopes come crashing down. One day she’s Googling images of babies to see if they look like the ones she sees in her dreams. The next day she’s contemplating suicide so someone else can be the last. And despite her wonderful husband, Mikenna abstains from sexual relations because of its emotional connection to her sterilization. 

As Mikenna nears menopause, and the human race dwindles, she discovers what she should’ve known years before: she was never sterilized. Rebekah had known all along that the doctor who delivered Mikenna saved her from the sterilization.  

The truth tears at Mikenna’s heart as the dream of having a child, and continuing the human race, becomes possible. But she’ll have to decide if fulfilling her own desire is worth subjecting an innocent child to the burdens of an empty world.

 First 250: 

Each leaden footstep Anna took through her unlit home brought her closer to the garage; closer to victory; and each painstaking step symbolized defiance against The Decision. At the end of the hallway she measured the distance to her next supporting wall and shuffled on. But a growing ache halted her at the dining room table. In desperation, she grasped the closest chair, breathing quick, rapid breaths. Her back shuddered, as if the Earth had just shifted across her spine, and it threatened to bring her body down in a crumbling mess. Her contracting muscles pulsed, hastening her daughter toward an undeserved life. 

“Oh, my precious little girl,” Anna whispered, “I’m sorry I got you into this. I’m sorry, Mikenna, but one day you’ll know . . . my heart was selfless.” 

At the point of collapse, Anna grit her teeth, and with a huff of determination, heaved herself up. She pushed off, and continued on with trembling knees through her hiding place, her cage. Five steps more, and Anna turned toward the living room. David stood to the side of the window, concealing himself in the darkness, holding the curtain back slightly with his pointer finger. A shaft of light from the afternoon sun snuck past and landed on the carpet, exposing a flurry of dust. 

“I’m ready,” Anna beckoned. “David . . . please?” 

Anna waited. Her labored breathing filled the silence. 

“Where are They?” David mocked, looking outside. “They have to know.” 

“They can’t,” Anna pleaded. “Please, God, They can’t.